So, there's a surprise party for your sergeant....

Right. It's funny how suddenly Mr. Antisocial is now Mr. Party-Time. I see how much you love your coworkers that you want to spend even more time with them than you have to. That's just great. Thanks. What a great husband, so committed to trying to make this marriage work that you want to be everywhere you think the precinct whore, your special fuck buddy, might make an appearance. Nice. I hate you.

Same crap, different day

He never remembers to call me when he's going to be late. He's usually home by 12:15. It's already almost 1.i should never have to wonder where he is. Given the opportunity, I will always imagine he is in ae other woman's bed because of precedence. Even if it was only the one time it doesn't change that fact. He doesn't think of me for anything other than sex. Exaggeration, of course. But, that's how it feels. I know If he touches affectionately it's because he wants some. Ugh! What a jerk! And, doesn't it suck that I only seem to write when I'm upset? I need to make a change.

Info

Okay. I may have jumped the gun little on that last post. But, I still feel totally justified. The good thing is that I managed to keep my mouth shut and I never mentioned it to Kenny. It turns out that Betty is his sergeant I would've looked the fool if I'd said anything. Thank goodness. I checked his phone the next day and saw that it was his new sergeant and saw some of the messages he'd sent and received. As a precaution I ordered a program called txtforward to help avoid this kind of thing in the future. And, I can honestly say it works. It's perfect for what I need it to do. So happy. Things have been good lately. I hope we can keep it up.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Here we go again...

Kenny calls me last night from an unknown number and says his phone won't let him dial out, that it keeps saying he's approaching his limit. I tell him I'll check it out as soon as I get upstairs. So I go, extend his minutes, and it's fine. Til I stop to think, "How the heck has he gone over his minutes?" So I log back in and check his history and I see a number that I don't recognize. I check his text messages and it's there, too. I block my ID on my cell phone and I call the number. It goes straight to the voicemail of some chick named Betty. I've told him that if he wants to make this work after the hell he put me through when I was pregnant with Ively that he had to tell me about any contact he had to have with female coworkers. I've heard nothing about this. I'm trying to handle things better this time around. I will not be in the dark. I will make my decisions based on facts. If he's playing around again, then that will be the unspoken message that he doesn't want to be married anymore. He's a selfish, egocentric, sociopath and I'm tired of trying.

He didn't come home last night. He had an arrest and said he would see if he could do a double. I wonder if he just left his phone at the precinct and went to "Betty's" house. I'll find out soon enough. Back to taking SAM-e, I guess.

We had fun yesterday. Kenny went out and got a nerf gun after weeks of saying I shouldn't have gotten mine because I would be teaching the babies that guns are toys. What a crock! I played with toy guns when I was little. It didn't turn me into a gun-toting lowlife. Anyway, so we played with them yesterday and it was so fun. We ran around the coat rack we put in the middle of the living room and the babies ran around creating even more mayhem. It was great. Then we went bowling with a bunch of friends, which is kind of miraculous because kenny is the next thing to antisocial. It was cool because we don't really do things together anymore.

Bleh

Things are still just "okay." I am doing what I want, which is basically going back to school and being the best mom I can be. I still have issues with my WH and he still doesn't understand. I think he's just given up. I don't really think he ever really put the whole of himself into a R anyway. I never really felt any sincerity from him. As far as the last post from ages ago, the calls and everything were work related, but the problem is he doesn't feel like he should have to check in with me. I think if he really wanted to make things work he would do that without my having to ask. Meh. Whatever. I'm nearing the point where I don't care. I don't. These things bother me on the periphery of my psyche. They cause a minor wrinkle on my forehead. I guess I'm falling out of love. And, he doesn't even care. He sees it happening and we've talked about it. He knows I'm just biding my time until I'm debt-free and educated. He actually said to me that he hopes that I end up with a man who will beat me and drink and do drugs and that kind of thing. Is he serious? Does he realize that he's basically saying that those guys are the only ones worse than him? I'm married to a moron. He refuses to go to therapy. He has given up on learning anything new. Why bother? He thinks he knows it all. I'm ranting. I just wanted to update the sit.