Tuesday, February 28, 2012


Today was pretty good. I've finished at BCC and I'm taking the one class I could get at Lehman. My professor said he was pretty impressed with my summary so I better take second look at that and see what I did right.

Anyway, we got into it again last night. This time about putting the kids in Catholic school. I just feel like its such a waste of money when we could try for the charter school right across the street from where I work and it's in the same damn neighborhood. He pretty much had the balls to feel like it was his right to all of a sudden begin parenting and make that decision all by his lonesome. He came up to me and asked me for aeris's documents. I asked what for? He said to register her for Tolentine. Wtf?!? He didn't even ask again about whether or not I had thought about it some more. It doesn't matter that I had changed my mind about it. If we have the money, then let's just do it. If we divorce I surely won't be able to afford it on my own. Bah! Whatever.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

So, there's a surprise party for your sergeant....

Right. It's funny how suddenly Mr. Antisocial is now Mr. Party-Time. I see how much you love your coworkers that you want to spend even more time with them than you have to. That's just great. Thanks. What a great husband, so committed to trying to make this marriage work that you want to be everywhere you think the precinct whore, your special fuck buddy, might make an appearance. Nice. I hate you.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Same crap, different day

He never remembers to call me when he's going to be late. He's usually home by 12:15. It's already almost 1.i should never have to wonder where he is. Given the opportunity, I will always imagine he is in ae other woman's bed because of precedence. Even if it was only the one time it doesn't change that fact. He doesn't think of me for anything other than sex. Exaggeration, of course. But, that's how it feels. I know If he touches affectionately it's because he wants some. Ugh! What a jerk! And, doesn't it suck that I only seem to write when I'm upset? I need to make a change.


Okay. I may have jumped the gun little on that last post. But, I still feel totally justified. The good thing is that I managed to keep my mouth shut and I never mentioned it to Kenny. It turns out that Betty is his sergeant I would've looked the fool if I'd said anything. Thank goodness. I checked his phone the next day and saw that it was his new sergeant and saw some of the messages he'd sent and received. As a precaution I ordered a program called txtforward to help avoid this kind of thing in the future. And, I can honestly say it works. It's perfect for what I need it to do. So happy. Things have been good lately. I hope we can keep it up.

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Here we go again...

Kenny calls me last night from an unknown number and says his phone won't let him dial out, that it keeps saying he's approaching his limit. I tell him I'll check it out as soon as I get upstairs. So I go, extend his minutes, and it's fine. Til I stop to think, "How the heck has he gone over his minutes?" So I log back in and check his history and I see a number that I don't recognize. I check his text messages and it's there, too. I block my ID on my cell phone and I call the number. It goes straight to the voicemail of some chick named Betty. I've told him that if he wants to make this work after the hell he put me through when I was pregnant with Ively that he had to tell me about any contact he had to have with female coworkers. I've heard nothing about this. I'm trying to handle things better this time around. I will not be in the dark. I will make my decisions based on facts. If he's playing around again, then that will be the unspoken message that he doesn't want to be married anymore. He's a selfish, egocentric, sociopath and I'm tired of trying.

He didn't come home last night. He had an arrest and said he would see if he could do a double. I wonder if he just left his phone at the precinct and went to "Betty's" house. I'll find out soon enough. Back to taking SAM-e, I guess.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

We had fun yesterday. Kenny went out and got a nerf gun after weeks of saying I shouldn't have gotten mine because I would be teaching the babies that guns are toys. What a crock! I played with toy guns when I was little. It didn't turn me into a gun-toting lowlife. Anyway, so we played with them yesterday and it was so fun. We ran around the coat rack we put in the middle of the living room and the babies ran around creating even more mayhem. It was great. Then we went bowling with a bunch of friends, which is kind of miraculous because kenny is the next thing to antisocial. It was cool because we don't really do things together anymore.

Friday, April 16, 2010


Things are still just "okay." I am doing what I want, which is basically going back to school and being the best mom I can be. I still have issues with my WH and he still doesn't understand. I think he's just given up. I don't really think he ever really put the whole of himself into a R anyway. I never really felt any sincerity from him. As far as the last post from ages ago, the calls and everything were work related, but the problem is he doesn't feel like he should have to check in with me. I think if he really wanted to make things work he would do that without my having to ask. Meh. Whatever. I'm nearing the point where I don't care. I don't. These things bother me on the periphery of my psyche. They cause a minor wrinkle on my forehead. I guess I'm falling out of love. And, he doesn't even care. He sees it happening and we've talked about it. He knows I'm just biding my time until I'm debt-free and educated. He actually said to me that he hopes that I end up with a man who will beat me and drink and do drugs and that kind of thing. Is he serious? Does he realize that he's basically saying that those guys are the only ones worse than him? I'm married to a moron. He refuses to go to therapy. He has given up on learning anything new. Why bother? He thinks he knows it all. I'm ranting. I just wanted to update the sit.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

He still doesn't understand.

We really got into it yesterday because of all the calls he's been making to a particular number and some voicemails on his phone from girls. When I get angry, he feels like there must be something wrong with me that I'm still angry about this. He doesn't feel he should still have to talk about this...that he has nothing to account for. He gets upset and he walks away. Right now, I hate him.