Ranjana's last day

Today was one of my new co-worker's last day. She's going to a new job where they'll pay her more than double. I'm gonna miss her. She's a sweetheart. We have made plans to go to her house as a group, me, Chelsea, and Sue, so we'll definitely see her again. But it won't be the same at work without her. In the beginning, we can pretend that she's on vacation, but after that it's gonna get crazy.

We went out to dinner with her to a place near work. The food was so good! We had a great time! I'm heading home now and I'm so full I could pop.

😐

Kenny got upset at me today because I didn't answer the phone. Again. I called him first to tell him that someone needed to pick up Ively at school because I got a call that she was feeling sick. I was going to the front desk at work to speak with a complainant so when he called directly after I couldn't answer. I didn't even check the phone because that would have been rude. Anyway, he called me back a little later to scold me for not picking up the phone. Like I need that crap. 🤨

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Today was pretty good. I've finished at BCC and I'm taking the one class I could get at Lehman. My professor said he was pretty impressed with my summary so I better take second look at that and see what I did right.

Anyway, we got into it again last night. This time about putting the kids in Catholic school. I just feel like its such a waste of money when we could try for the charter school right across the street from where I work and it's in the same damn neighborhood. He pretty much had the balls to feel like it was his right to all of a sudden begin parenting and make that decision all by his lonesome. He came up to me and asked me for aeris's documents. I asked what for? He said to register her for Tolentine. Wtf?!? He didn't even ask again about whether or not I had thought about it some more. It doesn't matter that I had changed my mind about it. If we have the money, then let's just do it. If we divorce I surely won't be able to afford it on my own. Bah! Whatever.

So, there's a surprise party for your sergeant....

Right. It's funny how suddenly Mr. Antisocial is now Mr. Party-Time. I see how much you love your coworkers that you want to spend even more time with them than you have to. That's just great. Thanks. What a great husband, so committed to trying to make this marriage work that you want to be everywhere you think the precinct whore, your special fuck buddy, might make an appearance. Nice. I hate you.

Same crap, different day

He never remembers to call me when he's going to be late. He's usually home by 12:15. It's already almost 1.i should never have to wonder where he is. Given the opportunity, I will always imagine he is in ae other woman's bed because of precedence. Even if it was only the one time it doesn't change that fact. He doesn't think of me for anything other than sex. Exaggeration, of course. But, that's how it feels. I know If he touches affectionately it's because he wants some. Ugh! What a jerk! And, doesn't it suck that I only seem to write when I'm upset? I need to make a change.

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Okay. I may have jumped the gun little on that last post. But, I still feel totally justified. The good thing is that I managed to keep my mouth shut and I never mentioned it to Kenny. It turns out that Betty is his sergeant I would've looked the fool if I'd said anything. Thank goodness. I checked his phone the next day and saw that it was his new sergeant and saw some of the messages he'd sent and received. As a precaution I ordered a program called txtforward to help avoid this kind of thing in the future. And, I can honestly say it works. It's perfect for what I need it to do. So happy. Things have been good lately. I hope we can keep it up.

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Here we go again...

Kenny calls me last night from an unknown number and says his phone won't let him dial out, that it keeps saying he's approaching his limit. I tell him I'll check it out as soon as I get upstairs. So I go, extend his minutes, and it's fine. Til I stop to think, "How the heck has he gone over his minutes?" So I log back in and check his history and I see a number that I don't recognize. I check his text messages and it's there, too. I block my ID on my cell phone and I call the number. It goes straight to the voicemail of some chick named Betty. I've told him that if he wants to make this work after the hell he put me through when I was pregnant with Ively that he had to tell me about any contact he had to have with female coworkers. I've heard nothing about this. I'm trying to handle things better this time around. I will not be in the dark. I will make my decisions based on facts. If he's playing around again, then that will be the unspoken message that he doesn't want to be married anymore. He's a selfish, egocentric, sociopath and I'm tired of trying.

He didn't come home last night. He had an arrest and said he would see if he could do a double. I wonder if he just left his phone at the precinct and went to "Betty's" house. I'll find out soon enough. Back to taking SAM-e, I guess.

We had fun yesterday. Kenny went out and got a nerf gun after weeks of saying I shouldn't have gotten mine because I would be teaching the babies that guns are toys. What a crock! I played with toy guns when I was little. It didn't turn me into a gun-toting lowlife. Anyway, so we played with them yesterday and it was so fun. We ran around the coat rack we put in the middle of the living room and the babies ran around creating even more mayhem. It was great. Then we went bowling with a bunch of friends, which is kind of miraculous because kenny is the next thing to antisocial. It was cool because we don't really do things together anymore.